


Honey Honey Rock the Boat

by HisaHiru



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amusement Parks, Crack, Humor, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Public Sex, Tony Stark Has Issues, Voyeurism (kinda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisaHiru/pseuds/HisaHiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A date at the amusement park, Steve and Bucky being lovey dovey... What could go wrong? Nothing.<br/>Except Tony (and friends) decided it was time for them to step in and play detective. Sam wanted to go home already.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honey Honey Rock the Boat

**Author's Note:**

> I spent way too many time to write this piece... And I'm not exactly proud about how this one turns out. But I guess it could be worse.  
> Basically, this is about Steve and Bucky having a date while Tony, who doesn't approve their relationship, does his best to keep an eye on them... Together with the other. 
> 
> As usual, special thanks to Blanchezy for being my beta reader.  
> Any mistake you'll find is all on me. I'm still struggling and my vocabulary tends to be repetitive the longer I write.

Sam wasn’t Steve’s longest friend; Bucky Barnes would be the one to take the title back home, obviously. Sam wasn’t exactly his best friend, which was also the name Bucky snatched before anyone else got a chance to even just take a quick look. And while they sometimes found reasons to compete with each other (which always ended up with Sam being on the losing side), Sam wasn’t exactly a rival for Steve.

Tony would be one of the most acknowledged rivals, both as a Stark and an Iron Man. Thor would be the most suitable one when it came to strength in sparring session. But even the blind could see that the one who pushed Steve to his limit was none other than Bucky.

Bucky was also the one who knew Steve the best. He could read the guy like an open book, which wasn’t exactly a hard thing to do in the first place. Bucky knew everything from simple things, like Steve’s birthday and blood type, up to the most bizarre thing that was completely unnecessary (who else would know that Captain America’s left pectoral muscle was slightly firmer than the right one?).

Basically, from Sam’s point of view, Bucky was the best guy for Steve. The very best guy; as a friend and also a lover-…

“The hell he is,” Tony growled, gritting his teeth like a mad man in a soap opera. Sam groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose in muffled frustration.

While Sam believed that Bucky would be able to be the pillar of strength for Steve, and vice versa, Tony didn’t quite share the same idea. He was happy for those men (for Steve, because Bucky didn’t actually make it to his consideration list at the moment), everybody knew. But, well… he still had some issues. Tony was acting like a father who couldn’t let his daughter (in this case, Steve) go into a marriage, which was ridiculous. “He (Bucky) is an unstable punk who can turn into a fucking killing machine when you drop a damn toothpick.” Apparently, that opinion hadn’t change.

And so, the ‘expedition’ group was formed; consisted of Tony (obviously), Sam (as if he would let Tony wander around doing only God’s know what and mess everything up), Bruce (thank God he was here, Sam owe him one), Clint (he was here just for fun, damn bird) and Natasha. Thor stayed back with Jane, opposing the idea of ruining such an important event of his ‘Shield Brother’ by snooping around. It had to do with something Jane said to him moments after Tony invited him to join them, Sam was sure.

Their destination?

A fucking Amusement Park-… With ‘Stark’ name being printed in big bold letters at the very front gate. Who knew Tony Stark actually built a playground?

Steve and Bucky just had to pick this place for a date. Sam just couldn’t get it. It was like kissing under judgmental spectators with cameras ready; they were walking straight into Tony’s toys kingdom. Sam could already hear Tony cackling up sitting in his throne, saying ‘you have no power here’, forgive the LOTR reference. But yeah… Tony would absolutely throw that on Bucky’s face when he got the chance, no doubt.

“It won’t be too late to turn back now, you know…?” Sam tried to pull Tony back. He didn’t have the heart to ruin this special day; Steve and Bucky had been waiting for this for a long time. They rarely found a matching schedule and have the same free day, so this was a luxury they both surely cherished.

“Yeah? Well… There, now it’s too late,” Tony watched his watch for 3 full seconds and decided to ignore Sam. Great.

“Stark, what’s your status?” Sam could hear Coulson’s muffled sound from the earpiece Tony wore. How come he was in the cahoots with Tony, he didn’t know. This was getting ridiculous.

Tony pressed his fingers over the earpiece and spoke with a low hushed tone like a secret agent in a secret mission-… He was acting like a motherfucking Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible! “Stark here,” he replied. “The targets are spotted standing in the line for the Roller Coaster ride. They’re holding hands, Agent. I repeat, they’re holding hands!”

Muffled curses flew out from the earpiece. Sam raised an eyebrow; Coulson sure knew lots of fabulous things to say. He had to make sure to tell Steve about this when this whole craziness ended. “Code yellow, Stark! Can’t you do something about it?!”

Tony shook his head even though it was obvious that Coulson wouldn’t be able to see it. “What? You want me to slap their hands off of each other?” he hissed. “That’ll blow our cover, Agent! Think smart!”

Sam slapped his hand over his eyes. They were on a date so of course there would be such things as holding hands involved. These guys were seriously acting like 3rd grades brats talking about where the babies came from. What would they do when those grandpas actually step up to the kissing part? If Tony got a heart attack or stroke, Sam would absolutely leave him to his fate and sent his condolence to the Avengers tower.

“Don’t lose them. Stay close at any cost, do you read me?” Coulson stated his order from the other side of the line.

“Crystal clear,” Tony responded. He actually gave the man a salute. With this place being so crowded, it would be easy to blend in with their surroundings and keep an eye on those two without being spotted.

Sam really wanted to puke. He stole a glance over the other members of the group. Clint and Natasha actually looked like they were having a moment, showing no resolve to put an end to this. Bruce shifted closer to Sam and gripped his shoulder knowingly, showing exactly how he shared the same thing in mind. They wanted to go home already.

 

0oOo0

 

“Please tell me I still have my legs,” Tony wheezed, doing his best to stand straight much to no avail. His legs were shaking like jelly and Sam resisted the urge to laugh out loud on the guy’s face. He deserved it.

“You practically flew faster on daily routine and you look like you’re ready to dump your whole stomach with just a simple ride?” Clint snorted, both hands on his waist like he was judging Tony for being a wimp. Now that Clint mentioned it, Sam also wanted to know.

Tony raised a hand and rushed to the nearest trashcan, puking his lungs out for about two minutes before coming back to them with a grimace. Bruce offered him a bottle of water while both Clint and Sam took a step back; the acidic smell was quite disturbing. “Commoners can’t tell the difference between this peasants toy and the priceless Iron Man armor,” Tony scoffed. “The armor came with better safety and comfort for its user, that much you should know.”

Natasha smirked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You designed this thing, Tony,” she pointed at the Roller Coaster ride right behind them. Tony glared at her and she just chuckled, waving her hand as if she knew Tony could offer her no counter.

Sam sighed openly, letting Tony knew he still thought this whole thing was a bad idea from the start. He let his eyes wander and found Steve and Bucky chatting happily about 50 feet away from them. Sam couldn’t believe what he saw and found himself smiling. Aww, how sweet. Two super soldiers patiently waiting for their turn to buy crepes. Who would believe in such tale? He should took a commemorative picture-… No, of course it wasn’t for a blackmail material.

He wasn’t a Romanoff.

They looked like they were having fun. Things often turned out that way when people spent their time with those who they loved. Sam, and Bruce, on the other hand… They just couldn’t wait to leave this place and erase this particular event from their internal hard drive.

The _leader_ of this misfit team, none other than Tony Stark, was dressed like a kidnapper in hiding waiting to be dragged to the nearest police station. Hell, all of them were. Hoodie, hat, sunglasses, fake moustache (exactly who gave Tony the idea to wear this piece of shit?), cigarettes, newspaper with holes for peeking-… Somebody stole this combo from a cartoon series! If Tony thought this was what incognito meant, they got some talking to do.

“I never thought Tony would seriously take it this far,” Bruce breathed out, watching the couple next to Sam with an understanding look. He enjoyed seeing how both Steve and Bucky got a chance to have a smooth moment in their relationship. “They look happy…”

“They do,” Sam grinned, nudged Bruce’s side with his elbow.

“Tony is just a little worried… you know?” of course, just a little. When they get back, Sam would drag Bruce to the nearest available dictionary and explained to him what ‘little’ actually meant. “He wants Steve to be happy and he thinks… Well, he thinks Bucky won’t be able to give him what he deserves.”

“He’s a stubborn piece of shit,” Sam blurted out and shrugged when Tony sent him a glare. What? He heard him? Either Tony had sharps ears (which was kind of questionable) or he was just being paranoid… Whatever. “I’m not accusing him as a bad guy or something, but he has gone a little bit too far, don’t you think?”

“Yeah… He wouldn’t listen to reasons when he’s this determined.”

“Well damn.”

Sam focused back to the targets and saw them walked away from the crepes stand. Steve bought banana choco flavor while Bucky settled with the strawberry filling. They even took a bite of each other’s food, and that was so fucking cute. Sam had to resist the burning urge to just pull out his phone and snapped a few pics. Bucky leaned sideways and wiped the stray cream from Steve’s cheek, driving his coated thumb straight to his mouth with a smirk.

Steve was blushing and Sam couldn’t help but to let out a restrained squeal. He swallowed it back down real quick when he realized the sudden change of the atmosphere. Tony was giggling but the tone was lacking of humor.

“How sweet,” Tony mused. He was acting like an evil godmother and Sam shuddered from the disturbing mental image. “You can’t deceive me, Barnes. I know you’re up to no good…”

 _‘Like you could talk,’_ Sam mumbled internally.

 

0oOo0

 

Sam groaned, trying to get Clint to release his arm. He could already feel it going numb. That bird boy refused to budge, clutching it even tighter with a frown. Sam couldn’t believe it. After following Steve and Bucky around for 4 full hours; they even threw their pride away to join the couple riding a merry-go-round carrousel (Natasha kicked Tony hard close to the jewel when he started making a princess joke); they at last arrived at a ride where they could take it slow-… Kind of.

“For Fuck’s sake, Barton. You’re a super spy. Get a fucking grip, will ya?” Sam growled through his gritted teeth. “You were laughing through the whole SAW series.”

“Those are THRILLER movies, birdhead!” Clint whispered furiously, using Sam as a human shield for the nonexistent incoming attack. “You can kill humans and ‘creatures’, but you can never hit something incorporeal, idiot!”

“This is a fucking amusement park ride!”

“Yeah, so?!” was he crazy or something? None of these were real but Clint was acting like they were about to enter the afterlife without a fight. Sam harshly tugged his hand but Clint threatened to bite him if he dared to move even just an inch.

A Haunted House, a classic ride for those who wanted to test their courage. It wasn’t scary, really. There were lost of kids who jumped into the boat and let themselves being dragged into the show. The dolls did look kinda creepy when you look at them for more than 5 seconds; those smiles were so damn unnatural and disturbing. Sam expected jump scares, Tony’s kind of humor, but up to this point they had encountered none.

Clint was the only one who had a problem with this. He desperately tried to be left out and stay outside, in case the couple came out from the haunted ride much earlier than their group. Tony shut him up and literally threw him to the very back seat of their boat. He also pushed Sam there to make sure Clint clamp his mouth shut and caused no disturbance that could attract unwanted attention.

They were surrounded by water and Sam couldn’t see the bottom. Either it was very deep or the darkness tricked him into believing that there was no way out. Clint got no choice but to sit tight, poor bastard. The boat were big enough to fit about 8 to 9 people, so they used the opportunity to block themselves out of view by putting other passengers on the from seats.

“Hey, you wanna shut up back there?” Tony chewed on his thumb impatiently, peeking through the shoulders of the visitors up front. Those people seemed to feel quite uncomfortable with how dark the aura Tony was emitting at the moment.

“Tony, calm down. You’re scaring them more than the-… ” Bruce touched Tony’s shoulder lightly only to drew his hand back when Tony growled. “Okay… Backing out now,” he raised both hands and inched away awkwardly.

“Smart move,” the billionaire huffed, fixing his cap and sunglasses as he got himself away from needless distraction. Only then he noticed that the kid from the front row had been staring at him for quite a while now. “Yo, kid. Eyes up front,” he pointed two of his fingers at his eyes and turned it forward.

The kid didn’t even budge. He just slid further down up to his nose without breaking the eye contact. Sam internally gave the kid a thumb up. He got guts. Not many people got the guts to stand up to Tony Fucking Stark, but he did. But Tony was nothing if not determined and clever. He pulled something out of the small bag he carried around and Sam found his mouth hanging open stupidly.

Tony handed an Iron Man action figure to the brat, pushing his sunglasses down to add an extra pressure in the atmosphere. Sam slapped a hand over his eyed and groaned. When did he buy those things? Did he have a Falcon action figure stored inside that purse too? Sam scolded himself for even wondering.

“I like Captain America…” the kid observed the toy in his hand with a look of distaste and gave it back to Tony with minimum hesitation. Tony pouted, threw the toy back into the bag and drew out the Captain America one. The kid’s face went brighter ten fold.

“Right, you go take that 90 year old virgin-no-more guy rather than the genius man with the coolest armor. Your loss,” Tony shrugged, acting like he didn’t care even though Sam could clearly see the impact to his pride. “Now turn around and don’t even twitch, you little devil.”

Sam noticed how Tony’s face turned from annoyed to downright furious as soon as he locked his gaze at one of many occupants of the boat in front of them. The gap in between was quite far but it was close enough to get a clear look at the occurring event. Sam bit his lips but couldn’t really contain his smile. There they were, those two lovebirds, sitting on the back seat with their body pressed close to each other without a care of the world.

Bucky shifted a bit and whispered something to Steve, hopefully nothing lewd as that would only enflame the rage inside their so-called expedition’s captain. Steve did laugh, no blush, so that was a plus. Except the couple didn’t think that kind of public display of affection was sufficient. The ex-assassin gathered Steve into his arm and pecking his cheek, giving a gentle squeeze on the blonde’s shoulder. The hand slowly went lower and disappeared from view, obstructed by the back of the boat.

The spectators could only guess where that hand will roam and dock. It was no secret that romantic gestures would be applied and practiced by the couples in dark places with minimum lightning. But man, Sam would never have guessed Steve had the guts. The new things you learn everyday… Amazing.

But yeah… Tony didn’t find it was that amusing.

“That prick-… Get your fucking hands off him,” Tony was fuming like a kettle and Bruce had to inch even further away.

“What got you so pumped up?” Natasha snorted, pretty much enjoying the ride rather than carrying the mission through. She once in a while leaned back and teased Clint with nothing but a mischievous glint inside her eyes, enjoying the discomfort she brought to her companion.

“Seeing my teammates being groped to the next realm by a killing machine.”

Clint finally manned up and loosened his grip on Sam’s now numb forearm. He still didn’t let go, though. “You know… One of these days, Steve will sock you so hard for badmouthing his boyfriend.”

Tony flinched, turning around ever so slowly like a protagonist in a horror movie. “Boyfriend…” he mouthed with a shudder. Sam lifted an eyebrow. He knew Tony had a problem with their relationship, but that far of a denial? That wasn’t healthy.

Of course, Clint just had to use every chance he got to turn the wheel around. Tony had had the fun of mocking him and now it was his turn to play his card. “Well yeah, boyfriend. Kissing under the tree, cuddling on the couch, rocking the bed when-…”

“Okay, okay-…! I get it!” Tony flailed his hands around before Clint dived forward and pushed him down. “The fuck-…?!” the archer quickly blocked Tony’s mouth and silenced him. The other soon enough followed them and pretty much hid behind the seats. Tony bobbed his eyebrows up and down in question but Clint pretty much ignored him.

It took about 3 minutes until the blond removed his palm from Tony’s face. Tony wasted no time to draw a mouthful of breath to berate his teammate but Clint beat him to it. “They were looking back,” he stated and Tony’s urge to complain subsided almost instantly. “Quit making such a ruckus. And here I thought you were serious about tailing them around…”

Tony was about to make a counter; he had had enough with these spies got the better of him; when Sam pushed himself up high enough to take a peek from his hideout. “Guys, they’re leaving,” he informed, gathering the attentions of the Avengers as he spoke. They were nearing the end of the ride while the boat in front of them was in the middle of unloading.

They kept their mouth shut, carefully drawing each breath as not to give the slightest hint to either Steve or Bucky about their presence. But then they saw it-… Tony saw it, dammit. He saw how Steve and Bucky walked away from the boat, side by side like a true lover they were. He saw exactly how Bucky’s hand comfortably nestled inside Steve’s back pocket, making squeezing motion every now and then. All Tony saw then was red.

Goddammit.

“That son of a-…! I knew it!”

“STARK!” the whole team hissed and raced to once again taped Tony’s mouth close. The boat rocked dangerously and they realized how fucked up they were. They cursed, but their voices were drowned by the sudden rush of water that welcomed them as the boat turned upside down.

 

0oOo0

 

Thank God it was almost June.

The weather was quite warm these days, as each passing days brought them closer to the beginning of summer. But even then, walking around in wet clothing for hours was not the brightest idea. Neither of them brought a change of clothes, except Natasha. She always came around prepared for any kind of unlikely events. Sam winced every time he made contact with the ground, listening to the squelching sound of his wet sneakers.

This was supposed to be the very last ride, because really… This had to be. Tony was busy sharing their situation to Coulson who was pretty much yelling at them when they told him about the Haunted House incident. It wasn’t their fault that the boat was not strong enough to support their weight-… and the sudden movement-… whatever. Thankfully there was no casualty; the family that _unfortunately_ took a ride with them managed to be saved with minimum damage.

They had come this far. The hardest obstacle they had passed was the Love Tunnel, no kidding. If they thought Steve and Bucky was seriously getting it on at the Haunted House, they had seen nothing yet. Things get even hotter when those guys had a boat just for the two of them. The kisses… Sam couldn’t believe Steve knew how to use his tongue that way. He bet the guy could tie the stem of a cherry with that tongue; Bucky no doubt could untie it afterwards no sweat.

That was the first and last time Sam would ever share a seat with Tony. He was on the verge of strangling him with his wet shirt and became the hot topic of morning news. Natasha and Clint shared a boat together while Bruce pretty much sitting this one out. No one dared to force him, in case the Other Guy decided to say hello. Sam would gratefully stay outside with Bruce but there was no way he would let Tony handle this alone.

He would mess it up without even trying.

And now here they were, the last challenge. The most romantic ride (kind of) most couples decided to approach at the very end of the day. The ride where they could lock themselves from the outside world… The famous Ferris Wheel.

“This is it,” Sam breathed out. He couldn’t wait to jump to his waiting bed, sinking into the mattress and sleeping everything off. “Just one more and it’s over.”

“At last…” Clint sighed, combing his damp hair back and winced at how disgusting that felt. Every strand stuck to each other and pelted to his scalp and forehead.

They were now standing on the line, about 10 people away from Steve and Bucky, waiting to get into one of the car. Those guys looked somehow exhausted too, but good kind of exhaustion. Like, the kind you got after laughing too much or playing around without limit. Sam envied them. He glanced back at his companions, seeing how each of them starting to get impatient as the line took such a long time to budge. But at last now they were moving…

Steve walked toward the opened car and slipped in, followed by Bucky soon after. Sam noticed how Bucky paused his steps moments before he get into the car and said something to the operator. The guy nodded, giving Bucky a thumb up and closed the door after Bucky settled himself on the opposite to the blond. Sam paid it no mind; he had wasted more than enough thinking for today; and proceeded forward, following the flow with no resistance.

“Oh…” Natasha blinked, ending her surprise with a playful smirk. “So that’s how it is.”

Amazing.

The operator gave the sign for people to stop and stay back as the wheel started to spin. Clint whistled at how close they were to the very front while Tony let out a voice so damn similar to a shriek. “No! NO NO NO NO!!” he took off his soggy hat and threw it to the ground with a loud splat. Lots of people turned around as the billionaire stormed his way onto the front line.

“Mr. Stark!” the operator recognized him and greeted him with the warmest welcome. “What a nice surprise, sir!”

“You! What are you doing?!” Tony barked, pointing at the car Steve and Bucky was occupying. “You let them-…! You just-…!”

“Whoa! Chill, tough guy!” Clint nudged the people away, apologizing as he did because he was a nice guy (obviously, c’mon), and stood between Tony and his soon-to-be chew toy. “Don’t mind him. He’s a bit stressed out today… Bruce, a little help here?!”

Bruce bowed his head as he mirrored what Clint did, followed by Sam and Natasha. He heard people hissing and cursing under their breath about how they just cut the line and such; it made him quite nervous. That wasn’t good. “Tony… There’s nothing we can do, okay?”

The operator started to sweat a lot. Upsetting Tony Stark couldn’t be good for his career, after all. “Sir, I’m so sorry but the cars were fully occupied already. We have to-…”

Tony growled frustratingly. “Full?! Dude, you just shoved Captain America and a fucking Terminator into the same car! Just the two of them-…!” he took a deep breath and copied Fury’s intimidating face. “Do you realize what you’ve done, kid?”

“C-Captain America…? The blond one?” the operator’s face brightened. Great, so he was ALSO a fan. How wonderful. “Oh my God, I have no idea it was him that-…”

“JUST GET HIM DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT!” Tony was this close to ripping his hair off his scalp. It was him against the world today, he didn’t understand why.

“R-right away, sir!”

His anger at last managed to get one thing right. The operator immediately threw himself to work and tried to pull Steve’s car back to ground. He tried… But of course it couldn’t go that smooth. All of them knew it when they heard a creaking and buzzing sound from the machines. Seconds later, the wheel stopped into a halt. The corner of Tony’s lip twitched as he knew not what face he was supposed to make right now.

“What is it…?” he gritted his teeth, chucking without any humor dripping from the tip of his tongue.

“S-sir… We’re very sorry, but there seems to be a malfunction and-…” the operator looked so pale like he was ready to pass out with just a snap of fingers. Sam considered getting behind him and catching him in case things happened.

The look of Tony’s face morphed from passive to frustration to desperation to broken in five full seconds. He stared straight to the car on the very top. Steve and Bucky’s car. “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

 

0oOo0

 

“Bucky, what happen?” Steve peered through the glass, wondering how come the car suddenly stopped. They were at the very top and the view was quite astounding, but he was starting to get worried that coming down would be problem.

“A malfunction, maybe. Don’t worry, they’ll take care of it,” Bucky leaned deeper into the seat, resting his head on top of his hands that comfortably nestled behind his neck. He sent one of his hands to the empty space next to him and lightly tapped the seat. “C’mere.”

Steve smiled and obeyed without much question. After all, cuddling with Bucky was one of his hobbies-… Nobody had to know that, especially Tony. Steve had noticed the hostility Tony held against Bucky but he had a feeling that with time everything would turn out to be okay. Like, the other was perfectly fine with the idea of Steve dating Bucky. Why wouldn’t Tony?

Bucky let Steve laid his head on his shoulder, caressing Steve’s cheek with his metal finger. Steve gave a momentary shudder due to the cold touch but he quickly adapted and pursed the contact instead. “Buck, what did you say to the operator…? Right before you get in,” Steve asked.

“Nothing,” Bucky shrugged with a grin. Steve knew that look. “I just asked him to give us some space, one car for the two of us. That’s all.”

“You know Tony and the other won’t be able to get in this way,” Steve chuckled and slapped Bucky’s chest playfully. “You know, I never thought they would take it this far. I seriously thought they would just drop the whole thing and go home after the Haunted House thing.”

“Tony is a stubborn jackass,” Bucky rolled his eyes and let out a hiss when Steve flicked the tip of his nose.

“Language,” the blond reminded. “I wish I bring my sketchbook. It’s really pretty up here,” he muttered, sinking deeper into Bucky’s warm embrace.

Bucky chuckled. “Have you look into a mirror, Stevie?” he joked and twirled Steve’s soft hair around his finger. “You’re prettier than this, much prettier.”

Steve rewarded him with a full-blown laugh. “Sap,” he tried to regain his composure much to no avail. “That’s disgusting, Buck,” Steve made a move to pinch Bucky’s cheek but Bucky had another thing in mind. He caught Steve’s fingers with his mouth and lubed each of them with his saliva. “Bucky…” Steve breathed out, face flushing up slightly.

Bucky’s eyes turned a tone darker and Steve knew he was on the verge of getting hard. They were seriously active in their sexual life; it was quite dangerous these days. Like, they could somehow get hard with just a mustard joke. “You know… I came here prepared.”

Steve decided to just go with the flow. “Oh yeah?” he wriggled his eyebrows and batted his long eyelashes. He really wanted to laugh but he willed himself not to. This was getting interesting.

“Yep…” Bucky fished pack of condoms and a bottle of lube out of his back pocket. Steve let out an amused voice. Now that wasn’t exactly what he expected.

“Naughty.”

“Well, I can’t exactly fill your tank here in such place, now can I?” the brunette licked his lips and gave Steve’s buttock a firm grip. “Think you’re up for the game, gramps?”

That was a challenge right there. Steve wasn’t the type to back out from a challenge; Bucky was about to learn. “Kinky… I like it,” he planted a deep kiss over Bucky’s mouth and tugged his boyfriend’s lower lip with his teeth. “Go get it, Tiger,” he purred.

It was Bucky’s turn to laugh. “Roger that, Captain,” he saluted and screwed the cap open, pouring the lube over his palm as Steve lend him a hand by tugging his belt off.

Things were about to get much dirtier from here.

 

0oOo0

 

“Can’t you just do something, anything?!” Tony couldn’t decide whether he should scream, stomp his feet or just bang his head over the rail and let God took care of the rest. They had been doing this for about fifteen minutes without any actual result. He was getting more and more desperate.

“Ah…” Natasha suddenly spoke up.

Tony spun his head around, his eyes burning with anxiety and rage. “What is-…?!” he held himself back for a moment seeing both Natasha and Clint leaning into the iron fence with binoculars in hands. “The fuck is that?”

Natasha lowered her binocular slightly but not really letting it fall from her eyes. “Just in case things happen,” she replied. “Things get really interesting up there.”

“JESUS!”

Sam sent both palm up to cover his eyes and turned around. This was impossible! He swore he saw the car on the top rocked around dangerously and that could never mean anything good. They were up to something up there. He thanked the Man up above for not giving him enhanced hearing, because he could do without listening to such thing that he couldn’t bring himself to say right now. If that really was what they were doing.

Steve wasn’t that kind of guy. Yeah, he was acting kinda wacky sometimes; it came with the job description for every superhero he guessed. But this-…

Okay, whom was he kidding? Steve was this crazy.

That kinky son of a bitch-… (Sarah Rogers, God bless her soul).

“What the fuck-…?! Give me that!!” Tony was outright shouting now and Sam saw him snatch the binocular out of Natasha’s hand who obviously let him to.

“Stark, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” too late. Tony put the said tool in front of his eyes and took his time to observe the situation. Sam cursed internally and mourned, this would teach Tony to listen to other before doing anything.

Soon enough, Tony put the binocular down and handed it to Bruce without any word. “Um… Tony…?” Bruce called awkwardly. “Tony, are you okay?”

Tony giggled. He giggled and then chuckled before the sound he produced turned into maniacal laughter. He pulled his phone out and dialed some numbers. Sam had a hunch that he would inform Coulson about his newest discovery but something told him that wasn’t it. “Stark, what’re you doing…?” because he obviously had to ask.

The billionaire flicked his fingers over the screen one last time and Sam’s face bleached. He recognized that display. “Veronica, get your ass up here!” Tony roared to his phone.

“Tony, no!” Bruce snatched the phone away from Tony’s grasp. “Abort! Cancel it!” he pleaded to the phone, not really knowing how to cancel the command Tony had inputted.

“My, Cap surely know how to use that ass…” Clint whistled and fanned himself. Either the heat of the summer was coming up faster than predicted or he really was getting affected by the show the super soldiers provided.

Bruce glared at Clint with the look that practically asking ‘are you fucking out of your mind?’. Tony was abandoning his sanity and literally tried to claw his Starkphone out of Bruce’s hand. “Tony, stop! You can’t call Veronica; there are too many people out here! Think about that!”

That seemed like it was working. Tony’s struggle lessened. He slowed down and stopped fighting, letting his brain do the rational thinking and calming himself down. “Right… You’re right…”

“AAAAHHHNNN-…!”

The whole visitors of the amusement park within hearing range fell into an awkward silence. Every eye trained itself toward the shaking car on the Ferris Wheel the moment the pleasured moan broke out. That was loud… Like, impossibly loud. Clint’s jaw dropped and the binocular fell from his grasp, clattered loudly in the deafening silence to the ground. Bruce almost dropped both his glasses and Tony’s phone while Tony himself froze on the spot.

“That’s it!” Tony had had enough of it. “Now give me that, Bruce! Somebody gotta kick that fucker hard enough to leave a mark!” he pressed his lips in determination to get back what was his in the first place. “VERONICA! CALL JARVIS! SENT MY SUITS HERE THIS INSTANT!!”

“Tony, no! Veronica, don’t-…!”

“Who knows they like this kind of play …” Natasha shook her head.

“They’re nuts…” Clint let out a shaky breath. He almost got hard-… maybe even cum in his pants. But then again, nobody had to know. Except Natasha, because the look she gave him told him she knew enough.

“Okay, that’s it… I’m outta here,” Sam threw his hands up in frustration and decided to make a quick escape. This was his limit. He had perfectly wasted such a good day playing James Bond and Sherlock Holmes and other kind of white dude in suit-… Fuck it.

If Thor asked where the other was when he went back to the tower to grab his things, he would ask him to call Pepper instead. She would know what to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos & comments are always appreciated, thank you :)


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